279: My Top Takeaways From A Business Conference
So, I said I’m going to start stepping into a little bit different space with my work here, and you’ll notice more and more of that shift happening over the next couple of months. I don’t fully know how this will shift or change, but I feel more convicted that this is right for me. I’m sharing more about my life and motherhood topics of any kind, not just grief. I’m imagining this podcast to be a motherhood podcast, where we don’t shy away from difficult conversations like child loss, grief, and others, but I get to also talk about the things that excite me. One of my friends told me, That’s more like you anyway; I’m so interested in a thousand topics, I love to learn, and I get excited about a lot of subjects. So I will start sharing those things here with you!
Before I dive into today’s topic of my top takeaways from a business conference I attended last week, I want to share a little win from a mom I worked with. I talked about this mom before that I worked with. Who had a word that was triggering for her. She just sent me a text message saying this: “I love how my brain works. Many times I’ve wondered, How long will this word fix stick? And I’m pleasantly surprised it’s still sticking!
She’s been kind of wondering if it will affect her again later down the road, and she’s happy to notice that it doesn't. And here’s the beautiful thing about trauma: once a particular trauma is cleared, it no longer affects you. It doesn’t mean that something couldn’t cause trauma in the future, but this particular trauma, even though it’s been lifelong, no longer affects you because it’s cleared. So I do not doubt that this word fix will stick for her, and if something changes, it would be because of a new experience that created a trigger for that word. Not from something in the past that we already cleared.
I went to a business conference this past weekend; this was my second conference kind of like this, and I went to an intimate retreat at one point too. But there were about 900 people at this conference, so it was quite large. But I’ve never been to a conference that incorporated so much of what I find to be useful. I can learn all the strategies and things, but the most important work I will ever do is the work I do on myself. Fear, anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and beliefs about the way things are—all these things are bigger roadblocks than anything. It’s amazing what shifting things inside your mind or your perspective can do to be able to take the actions needed to grow a business.
Finding People Who You Can Relate to in Your Same Situation: I went to this conference with a friend who we’ve only gotten to know at a business retreat I put together. And we decided to go together, and it was so amazing. We both have 8 kids, we’re both doing online businesses, we both have big dreams, and we both value our family and faith and want to put those first. It’s just so amazing to talk with other people who are in similar situations, even though in almost everything we are complete opposites, which is so funny.
But it just brought home to me how much community matters. Having people in your life who support you, encourage you, and whom you can talk to. Like most places I go, if I were to start talking about EPL, conversion rates, CPL, funnels, landing pages, sales pages, launches, launch vehicles, and all sorts of other jargon that I’ve learned since starting a business online, most people would give me the side eye.
And it's fun to be able to talk about these things because they're a huge part of what I’ve been learning for the past few years. So going to this event as well, which was for digital course creators and online coaches, you feel a little bit less weird, and the people there were super friendly and kind.
Stepping into the business owner role:
-getting a babysitter for myself
-joining a coaching program, and I like how I processed it.
I was very excited to join right away, but I wanted to process it first, and I remember my friend telling me that my human design way of making decisions is that I have to process the emotion first and then make a decision from there. Like my husband, he goes with his immediate gut reaction, and I have to process it. I have a bit more emotions to process and I can’t see clearly until I process them all.
So, I processed them, and it felt so good to chat with my friend about this and work through it with her. Then, I decided to join and checked in with my husband to see if he had any objections to me joining. And his only response was, “You’re the boss!”
And I realize I am the only one holding me back. Yes, I have seven living kids to take care of; yes, I homeschool my kids; yes, now we have a house to take care of; and all the other things. But I realized how I could get creative to help people this way. In the way I love so much and seriously can’t believe I get to do this work, it’s incredible. But also, I want to be intentional so that my family doesn’t suffer or go as a last priority.
So my family comes first, and then around that, I can work on my business and this work I love. But I realized this doesn’t mean I have to sacrifice everything for myself first and then find time for my business in the fumes. Because that’s how it’s been for a while. All day, I've been trying to figure out how to record this podcast episode. Or post this post on Instagram. I’m constantly interrupted by kids, by noise, or whatever. And it’s none of their fault at all, so I decided at the event that I was going to get a babysitter two days a week. I was a little unsure how that would work out because I didn’t know who was looking for a babysitting job two days a week.
But I ended up asking someone, and she’s babysitting right now, and it’s amazing. I can work, I can be fully present with what I’m doing, and I know that the kids are being taken care of. I know my house isn’t falling apart while I’m gone because I give her extra tasks to do that I would do if I were home.
A lot of times, I have felt like I was punished if I worked, because if I put some time into work, then I’m not doing those other things in my house that keep it running smoothly and effectively. So, when I can have her do some of those tasks, then I have more space when I get home.
Something that also came up at this business conference was this weird thing that made me realize I’m terrified of success. What a weird concept, huh? I used to think that was so weird. Anyone would be terrified of success, because who wouldn’t want success?
But as I was trying to accomplish a task and everyone was determined to do the task, I was terrified. My heart was pounding, and I was so scared to succeed. As I thought about it, I realized that one of the most special and important things in my life are my friends, my family, and the connections and loved ones I have in my life. I am so grateful for all the people in my life. And I realized that I had this fear that if I succeeded, these people would not like me anymore. Or that if I had a lot of money, I would change. And I realized, and what I do believe to be true, is that money doesn’t change you; it just amplifies who you are.
Justin and I have big dreams of the things we want to do and create to help others, and so I know this is a part of who I am. Being generous and kind with money. And so, in this realization, it clicked more that no matter how much money I ever make or we ever have, it doesn’t change who I am.
Another realization we had. I believe that Rapid Resolution Therapy can help this along so much quicker, but we did a meditation, and at the end of the meditation, the guide said, Open your eyes, like you’re opening them for the very first time.
And I realized that all I have to do is close my eyes and open them, and I can have a fresh slate. All the stories of my past, especially surrounding business, are gone, and I get to start with a whole new set of eyes. Create a whole different story and path.
I know that sounds super simplistic, but it felt pretty great. And I can feel myself even now picking a different story and choosing to act differently than I have before, and in some ways, it’s freeing and in some ways terrifying, because when you’re doing something different, fear comes up because it’s unknown.
A few things I’ve known before that came to me again at this conference were to ask better questions instead of asking why this is happening to me. Ask something like, How can I learn from this? Or what am I missing? Or what do I need to know? Or what can I do about this? The unconscious mind will always answer your questions. So when you’re asking questions that don’t have value, it’s going to be answered with pain, suffering, and things that don’t have value. But when you start asking better questions, you will be surprised at what comes to mind. And how you start to see ways around the roadblocks.
Expect problems: I was just thinking about how, as humans, or maybe I should just say this is how I used to think, anytime there was a problem, I would wonder why this was happening, why life has to be so hard, and why do I have so many problems?
And my mentor told his team before the event, Okay, everyone, there’s going to be problems. Let’s expect them, and let’s have fun solving them and having fun while dealing with problems.
And I thought, interestingly, that this could be applied to all of our lives. We all have problems. Every single one of us. None of us will get out of here without problems or struggles; this is just a fact of life. So how can we work with the problem? How can we find fun in it? How can we, instead of wondering why this is happening to us or being angry that a problem exists, realize that problems are a fact of life and then see how we deal with them?
So, I want to leave you with something I wrote down after a meditation we did as a group. "There's no need to force anything. When holding intention, gratitude, and trust, and taking the step, anything is possible. Fear will come; lean into it and through it.”
Hey, I’m hosting a free call for anxious moms, and I want you to come to it. If you’re exhausted or feel like you don’t have enough time to deal with this anxiety because you’re overwhelmed and in survivor mode, this is especially for you. Come register now by going to www.getridofanxietyforgood.com
I’ll see you there, and I’ll meet you back here on this podcast next week!
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