340: What’s Under the Surface: Anxiety, Yelling & the Motherhood Journey
Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!
Today’s episode is a special one—and a little different from the usual. For the first time, I’m sharing an interview where I’m the one being interviewed. My friend Gloria invited me onto her podcast, Wooded Oasis, and we had such a rich and heartfelt conversation that I knew I had to share it here with you, too. In this episode, we dive deep into my personal journey, especially around motherhood, the challenges of yelling, and how our inner emotional world plays a huge role in how we show up for our kids. It’s raw, real, and full of insight. I loved chatting with Gloria, and I think you’ll enjoy listening just as much.
In this episode of The Wooded Oasis podcast, the host welcomes her friend Megan Hillukka, who specializes in anxiety and trauma, to explore the deeper reasons behind why moms yell—and why it's often not for the reasons they think. Megan vulnerably shares her personal experience with grief and the overwhelming emotions that followed the death of her daughter, Aria. Rather than becoming the patient and calm mother she hoped grief would make her, she found herself yelling more often, burdened by shame and guilt. Megan explains how yelling is often a symptom of a deeper emotional overload and trauma stored in the subconscious, likening it to carrying an 80-pound backpack of unresolved pain and stress. She emphasizes that by doing the inner healing work to process trauma, mothers can lighten their emotional load and respond to their children with greater calm and presence.
The conversation challenges common assumptions, such as the belief that moms yell simply because their kids don’t listen. Megan explains that yelling is rarely about the child’s behavior and more often about a parent’s internal state—fatigue, anxiety, emotional overwhelm, and lack of capacity. Instead of shaming moms for yelling, the episode offers a compassionate reframe: yelling is a “check engine light,” a sign that there’s something deeper that needs attention. By focusing on healing from within and increasing emotional capacity, moms can change not just their reactions but also the entire emotional foundation of their home. The ripple effects, they argue, are profound—breaking cycles of generational trauma and fostering a more emotionally safe environment for both parents and children.
And I think the powerful thing to recognize here is that healing isn't about becoming someone entirely different—it's about returning to who you actually are beneath all of the stored-up reactions and stress responses. It's like rediscovering your grounded, loving, calm self that was always there, just hidden under the weight of unprocessed emotions and old memories. So when we talk about doing this deeper work, it's not about fixing something that's broken—it's about releasing what was never truly you in the first place. The yelling, the snapping, the guilt—they're signals, not your identity. And when you start giving your nervous system and subconscious mind what they need, you don't just stop yelling—you start living from a place of peace that feels natural and sustainable.
If you loved this conversation and want to hear more from Gloria, be sure to connect with her! You can follow her on Instagram for honest insights and uplifting content about motherhood and personal growth. And don’t forget to check out her website at glorianiemi.com for more resources, episodes, and ways to work with her. She’s doing such meaningful work, and I’m so grateful we got to have this conversation together.
If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.
