346: Triggers are Your Teachers (RERUN)

346: Triggers are Your Teachers (RERUN)

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

In this rerun episode, Megan Hillica explores the idea that "triggers are your teachers"—a powerful perspective shift for those navigating grief and trauma. She shares her personal experiences with trauma-related and grief-related triggers and explains how both can be opportunities for healing. Rather than avoiding triggers out of fear, Megan encourages listeners to get curious about them, using tools like tapping, EMDR, meditation, and coaching to process what lies beneath. She emphasizes that healing doesn’t mean forcing yourself to be exposed to pain repeatedly, but rather learning how to gently and compassionately address what your body is signaling needs attention.

Megan also highlights the deep value of both individual and group coaching in the grief journey, noting how sharing space with others can foster connection and lessen the sense of isolation. She reassures grieving moms that healing is possible—even from the most painful triggers—if they allow themselves to do the inner work. Her personal story of no longer being triggered by images of sleeping babies is a testament to how consistent healing work can free someone from emotional pain. Ultimately, she reminds listeners that they don’t have to do this alone and that with support, they can shift from just surviving to living with more peace and presence.

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.

345: Conflict and Connection in Marriage with Brett Nikula (RERUN)

345: Conflict and Connection in Marriage with Brett Nikula (RERUN)

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

In this heartfelt podcast episode, Megan invites Brett Nikula, a marriage and family therapist, to explore the complexities of conflict within relationships—especially after the loss of a child. Brett shares how his career transitioned from engineering to therapy, driven by a passion for helping people, particularly couples. He explains that his focus on couples emerged from understanding that children’s wellbeing is closely tied to the quality of the couple’s relationship. The conversation sets the stage for an in-depth discussion about emotional disconnection, stress, and conflict that often arise in grief, particularly when partners grieve differently and misunderstand each other’s coping styles.

Brett introduces the “conflict cycle,” rooted in attachment theory and emotionally focused therapy. He explains how each partner often has underlying attachment longings—like the desire to feel cared for, appreciated, or secure—which can be easily triggered in moments of stress. Using real-life and client examples, he illustrates how attempts to seek connection can instead spark defensiveness or withdrawal in the other partner, perpetuating a painful loop of disconnection. A simple situation—like a disagreement about a spoon—can be symbolic of much deeper emotional needs, and when those needs are not acknowledged, conflict escalates.

The episode emphasizes that conflict itself is not harmful; rather, it becomes damaging when couples lack the tools to navigate it. Brett uses a powerful gear analogy to explain how emotional “sharp edges” naturally surface as intimacy deepens. He encourages couples to stay curious, explore the emotions beneath their reactions, and share their “hope chest”—a metaphor for the deeply personal and emotional baggage we bring into relationships. Finally, Brett suggests a helpful litmus test for couples: if conflict doesn’t lead to connection, it's time to seek support. Therapy or coaching can offer a safe space to rebuild trust, communicate more openly, and ultimately strengthen the relationship.

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.

344: Meeting Anxiety Where it's At With Sandra Hoye (RERUN)

344: Meeting Anxiety Where it's At With Sandra Hoye (RERUN)

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

In this powerful episode of the Grieving Moms Podcast, host Megan Hillica introduces Sandra Hoye, a mother navigating deep grief after the tragic loss of her only son, Connor, in a work-related accident. Sandra shares her experience of living with anxiety and depression, initially unaware of how intertwined they were with her grief. For years, she numbed her pain by returning to work quickly and isolating herself, only to later face the physical and emotional toll of suppressed emotions, including a recurrence of cancer that she believes is connected to unprocessed trauma. Her story emphasizes how profoundly grief impacts not just the mind, but the body, and the urgent need to move that pain through rather than hold it in.

Through her one-on-one coaching with Megan, Sandra learned to implement daily healing tools such as tapping, inner child work, meditation, and thought reframing. Over time, she experienced a profound shift in her ability to meet her anxiety and emotions with compassion instead of resistance. Her transformation became especially evident during her recent cancer recurrence, where, instead of falling apart, she remained calm and grounded, continuing to use the tools that had become part of her healing process. Sandra highlights how these practices have not only reduced her suffering but also helped her feel more connected to herself, her son, and her purpose, despite the ongoing presence of grief.

Sandra's story is a testament to the power of doing the inner work. By allowing herself to feel, meeting her grief with compassion, and learning to gently support herself through emotional waves, she has redefined her relationship with pain and healing. She no longer sees anxiety as something to fear, and she no longer feels disconnected or broken. With Megan's guidance, she’s stepped into a space of hope, resilience, and self-compassion, reminding other grieving mothers that transformation is possible, even in the midst of unimaginable loss.

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.

343: How to Be Okay with Not Knowing With Ruth (RERUN)

343: How to Be Okay with Not Knowing With Ruth (RERUN)

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

In this deeply emotional and introspective rerun podcast episode, the conversation explores the powerful intersection of grief, confusion, and the longing for clarity after a painful loss. The speaker opens up about the inner turmoil of not having answers and how this lack of closure creates ongoing emotional suffering. While she acknowledges she hasn’t fully let go of the situation, she also recognizes that dwelling in the unknown brings more pain than healing. The guidance offered encourages her to first fully feel the frustration, confusion, and deeper pain, before trying to move toward acceptance.

A key moment in the episode is a gentle, guided meditation that leads the speaker to physically and emotionally ground herself in the present. Through visualization—walls of protection, flowing water, and emotional energy—she is invited to observe and regulate the sensations in her body without judgment. As she names the emotions and notices their effects, she slowly shifts from being overwhelmed to feeling a calm sense of peace. The imagery and mindful breathing become tools to help her realize that, while she cannot control the situation, she does have control over how she responds to it emotionally.

Toward the end, the episode touches on the common yet often unspoken desire for justice in the wake of loss. The speaker reflects on how holding onto the need for answers and fairness only intensifies her suffering. She expresses gratitude for being reminded that these feelings are normal, especially for mothers. The episode beautifully illustrates the dual nature of grief—allowing emotions to be felt fully while also learning to reframe the pain. Ultimately, the conversation offers a compassionate reminder that healing begins when we stop resisting what is and instead choose how we want to carry the pain forward.

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.

342: The Power of AND (RERUN)

342: The Power of AND (rerun)

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

In episode of the podcast, titled "The Power of And," the host explores the transformative role of the word "and" in emotional processing, especially in the context of grief. She reflects on her personal journey through grief—particularly after the loss of her child—and how tools like thought work and emotional awareness have helped her navigate not only grief but also major life changes like moving into a bus and traveling. She emphasizes that life isn’t black and white and encourages listeners, particularly grieving moms, to reject the idea that experiencing joy or relief means forgetting or moving on. Instead, she advocates for embracing complexity, acknowledging that feelings like grief and joy, sadness and gratitude, can coexist.

Throughout the episode, she shares deeply personal examples—like the bittersweet experience of watching her children born after her daughter Aria’s death reach milestones Aria never could. These moments hold both deep sorrow and immense joy, demonstrating that the emotional landscape of grief is not binary. She encourages listeners to integrate the word "and" into their inner dialogue to expand emotional space and reduce guilt or shame. For instance, replacing “I’m broken” with “I’m broken and I’m learning how to get through this” opens the door to healing and self-compassion. She closes by offering her mini grief support program, "Stop Talking, Start Feeling," for free and urges listeners to share the episode with others who may benefit.

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.

341: Loneliness in Motherhood

341: Loneliness in Motherhood

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

This podcast episode deeply explores the often unspoken reality of loneliness in motherhood. The speaker highlights how a mom can feel unseen and unheard—even while surrounded by her children or a spouse—especially in a culture that prizes independence. Motherhood is described as a dramatic shift from adult interaction to full-time caregiving, often without the support or transition needed. Many moms experience a silent grief over changed friendships and shifting priorities. The episode emphasizes that even those with large social circles can feel isolated, especially when trauma, anxiety, and nervous system dysregulation are involved. The sense of disconnection isn’t just about physical solitude; it stems from a deeper loss of connection with oneself and others.

Megan offers gentle encouragement and practical tips for reconnecting during seasons of isolation. She emphasizes that the need for connection is not a weakness but a biological necessity. Healing starts with acknowledging the loneliness out loud, making small efforts like messaging a friend, and remembering that others won’t know you’re lonely unless you share it. She also shares her personal story of returning to a familiar community after years away and feeling a surprising lack of reciprocation despite frequent hosting. Her reflection shows that connection often takes effort and vulnerability but is worth pursuing. Above all, she reminds listeners that they are not broken and are deeply deserving of connection and support.

As the episode deepens, Megan highlights that loneliness is not only about lacking connection with others—it can also stem from a disconnection with oneself. She invites listeners to explore practices like journaling, breathing, and tuning into their own needs to rebuild self-connection. By learning to enjoy their own company, individuals can feel less alone even when surrounded by others. Megan emphasizes that past experiences, especially unhealed trauma or rejection, may create protective walls that limit vulnerability and true connection. She describes this as a survival response—an inward contraction meant to shield from further hurt. However, through healing and intentional outreach, it's possible to expand again into connection. Whether through joining safe and meaningful spaces like mom groups, churches, or business communities, Megan reassures that taking steps toward relationship and healing is not only valid but transformative. Ultimately, she reframes loneliness as a signal—not of brokenness, but of the deep human need for connection, both with others and within ourselves.

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.

340: What’s Under the Surface: Anxiety, Yelling & the Motherhood Journey

340: What’s Under the Surface: Anxiety, Yelling & the Motherhood Journey

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

Today’s episode is a special one—and a little different from the usual. For the first time, I’m sharing an interview where I’m the one being interviewed. My friend Gloria invited me onto her podcast, Wooded Oasis, and we had such a rich and heartfelt conversation that I knew I had to share it here with you, too. In this episode, we dive deep into my personal journey, especially around motherhood, the challenges of yelling, and how our inner emotional world plays a huge role in how we show up for our kids. It’s raw, real, and full of insight. I loved chatting with Gloria, and I think you’ll enjoy listening just as much.

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In this episode of The Wooded Oasis podcast, the host welcomes her friend Megan Hillukka, who specializes in anxiety and trauma, to explore the deeper reasons behind why moms yell—and why it's often not for the reasons they think. Megan vulnerably shares her personal experience with grief and the overwhelming emotions that followed the death of her daughter, Aria. Rather than becoming the patient and calm mother she hoped grief would make her, she found herself yelling more often, burdened by shame and guilt. Megan explains how yelling is often a symptom of a deeper emotional overload and trauma stored in the subconscious, likening it to carrying an 80-pound backpack of unresolved pain and stress. She emphasizes that by doing the inner healing work to process trauma, mothers can lighten their emotional load and respond to their children with greater calm and presence.

The conversation challenges common assumptions, such as the belief that moms yell simply because their kids don’t listen. Megan explains that yelling is rarely about the child’s behavior and more often about a parent’s internal state—fatigue, anxiety, emotional overwhelm, and lack of capacity. Instead of shaming moms for yelling, the episode offers a compassionate reframe: yelling is a “check engine light,” a sign that there’s something deeper that needs attention. By focusing on healing from within and increasing emotional capacity, moms can change not just their reactions but also the entire emotional foundation of their home. The ripple effects, they argue, are profound—breaking cycles of generational trauma and fostering a more emotionally safe environment for both parents and children.

And I think the powerful thing to recognize here is that healing isn't about becoming someone entirely different—it's about returning to who you actually are beneath all of the stored-up reactions and stress responses. It's like rediscovering your grounded, loving, calm self that was always there, just hidden under the weight of unprocessed emotions and old memories. So when we talk about doing this deeper work, it's not about fixing something that's broken—it's about releasing what was never truly you in the first place. The yelling, the snapping, the guilt—they're signals, not your identity. And when you start giving your nervous system and subconscious mind what they need, you don't just stop yelling—you start living from a place of peace that feels natural and sustainable.

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If you loved this conversation and want to hear more from Gloria, be sure to connect with her! You can follow her on Instagram for honest insights and uplifting content about motherhood and personal growth. And don’t forget to check out her website at glorianiemi.com for more resources, episodes, and ways to work with her. She’s doing such meaningful work, and I’m so grateful we got to have this conversation together.

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.

339: A Powerful Process to Change How You Parent

339: A Powerful Process to Change How You Parent

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

I recently took a client through this powerful process, and I wanted to share it here with you. This client was feeling terrible about a situation with her child that she felt like she lost control, and was not showing up fully as the mom she wanted to be.

If you have been feeling this way, first off, give yourself some compassion and grace. The fact that you care and you want to do something different, is huge. This shows that you care. That you love your child so much. And none of us are perfect ever. So we’re not reaching for perfection, we are reaching to do better, to heal, so our responses and reactions can be better each time, but we will never be perfect. So give yourself some compassion and grace. And know that one of the best things you can do when you mess up and act how you don’t want to do, is just simply apologize and say I’m sorry to your kids. That’s a beautiful thing to do and a huge step to repairing that experience.

However, there’s still this issue that my client was facing: she wanted to show up better, she didn’t want her child's independence and own person to cause her to react in a way that she didn’t want to. And as I reminded her on our call- kids have a way of bringing out the best and worst in you, they know how to get your triggers- but this can be a gift that you can see where you need to do the work and heal. When you are triggered, it means there is something yet to heal.

So- I took her through this powerful process to give her brain the chance to see how she wants to react. I shared an episode earlier on visualization- and this is very much using visualization to play out the scenario you want to have happen.

So I’m going to give you a few pointers on what to do, and how to do this:

Think of a time where things didn’t go too well, where you reacted in a way you wanted, lost control of yourself, or really just didn’t show up as the mom you wanted to be. Think of that time, and without judgement or criticism, just looking at it as if you were a scientist, then consider if you could respond in the way you wanted to, what would that look like?

Our kids often respond and react to our energy, so when you are in a better headspace and keep your cool, and stay grounded, your kids will respond in a way that follows. Even if they don’t, they can feel the difference in you.

So take that time, and then play it out in your mind, but with it going the way you would like to respond. Practice responding the way you want to in your mind over and over again. The thing is, the mind doesn’t know the difference between real and imaginary, so if you practice it in your mind, your mind starts to understand, oh, when this happens, this is how we want to respond to this type of situation.

Something I would caution you- is it can be tempting to play out this scenario, and let’s say kids are fighting, and so in your new vision, you see yourself responding nicely to them, and then they nicely stop fighting, hug each other, and move on. Except, that’s not always what happens in reality. You can keep yourself completely grounded and cool, and it might not change how your kids are reacting or responding. But what I would suggest is to practice being grounded and calm EVEN while your kid or kids are acting in a way that would have completely triggered you or made you completely react in the past.

So it’s not about playing out a perfect scenario, because if your kids calm down and they are all acting nicely and doing what you want of them, then you wouldn’t have to be grounded, because you wouldn’t be being triggered. You need to practice being in a situation where you would have been triggered, and yet you are calm and grounded.

So you play this scenario out in your mind, practice showing up in your head how you want to show up.

Then, start to notice if you notice changes in the way you respond or react to your kids. See if you are more grounded, calm, and can act in the way that you want to as a mom.

I know this episode is super short, but I actually want you to take a moment and try it out. Think of the situation, and then replay the situation how you want to show up and start to embody that in your body and mind.

If you don’t do it- nothing will change. So I’m challenging you right now- to take just 5 minutes and practice!

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.