288: Navigating Changes in Life
In a quick share from a 1:1 client, she says, “I did RRT for anxiety about the future, fear of the future. It was not a crippling issue, but definitely took up too much space in my head and affected social situations. Since doing sessions with Megan, the issue rarely comes up. My mind is clearer, and if I find myself in situations where topics come up, I can easily and calmly navigate the space.”
If you want to learn more about RRT and about working with me, go to www.meganhillukka.com/beanxietyfree.
Change is inevitable in our lives. It happens like the sun rises and sets. And yet, for some reason, it seems as humans we are shocked when there is change or things are different than we thought they would be!
We are navigating a very big change in our lives right now, which has me processing and trying to navigate this change. I want to share some things I plan to do to assist me, some things I've been doing, and some things if you are navigating changes to remind yourself.
And I want to be very clear, I’m struggling with this change; I’m in the depths of it, and I would love to not be struggling with it, but I am, and so, again, I’ll share what I’m doing to support myself through this change.
First, as I said, change is the only constant thing. It's always there. And we have to expect change. Even embrace it. For example, if I were so scared of change, we probably wouldn’t be experiencing the change we are going through now, because this change we are going through was a choice my husband and I made together, and even though it was a choice we had, it’s a change that has affected me more than I planned on or realized it would.
But change is always there. If you want a little short story, read the book “Who Moved My Cheese” by Spencer Johnson.
It illustrates how, if we don’t adapt to change, we will starve ourselves or become trapped in this cage of suffering. So change is inevitable, and it’s good. Sometimes the change doesn’t feel so good and sometimes it’s forced on us by things we didn’t choose. I understand those kinds of changes too.
But we always expect life to continue to go however it’s going, whether it’s good or bad, and the change can be difficult.
So, how can you embrace change more? How can you open up to the idea that change is inevitable and will happen? It’s not a matter of it, but when.
The change we are dealing with is good. So it’s kind of confusing. Because even though it’s a good change, there are parts that are very difficult for me to process right now. And so when there’s a good chance that’s difficult, this is what I’ve heard when I’ve shared that I’m struggling with it. “I don’t feel bad for you” or “Welcome to the real world” or something along those lines.
So this is for those of you who may be struggling with a change that you chose, that you wanted, or that is good, but it’s still hard.
There is so much room for nuances that even if you choose it, even if you want it, the change can still be hard!
You can choose a change, and it will still be a struggle. You can choose something new and struggle with it. It’s interesting because if you chose the change, or if it’s good, people might say things like, Get over it, you chose that! Or you might think, What’s wrong with me? Why is this so hard?
Well, my friend. Life is hard at times. There are lighter moments and harder moments. And whether the change was forced on you or whether you chose the change yourself, it can be hard.
So first, if you are experiencing a significant change in your life that you are struggling with, give yourself grace in this moment. Acknowledge that this is hard for you, and you’re going to figure it out, but it takes a bit of processing to figure out how to acclimate to this new change.
Here are some things I’m doing to support myself through this change:
I’m leaning on my business coaches, booking sessions, going to live calls, and getting coached. I need support in clearing my brain so I can clearly see what the next steps are for me. Having outside eyes is very helpful
Getting RRT sessions for this. I know that my mind is stuck looping over a few things and getting myself an RRT session will help clear that turmoil in my mind. When that turmoil is gone, it’s easier to navigate the change, so that’s one thing I’m doing that I haven’t done yet, but I do think will significantly help me through this
Getting sleep. When I don’t get sleep, everything gets significantly worse in my brain. And it’s hard when you have a bunch of little kids and babies; it’s like you rarely get sleep. But we’ve been figuring out a way for me to get some sleep for the past few weeks, which has been great, and I’ve also gone to bed earlier than I have in years, so that helps too.
I am okay with being in this space while I navigate it. It’s not fun. It’s not how I want to be in my life. But I know it’s not forever, and I also know that I’m going through it right now. So though it would be easy to think about things like what’s wrong with me, why is it so hard for me, or why can’t I just get over it? I’m not. I know there’s nothing wrong with me. I know the RRT update to my mind will be beneficial, and I know this is a normal human experience to have ups and downs in life.
Staying active, playing volleyball, swimming, running, and getting outside are all beneficial for me and help me in different ways.
So, my friend, if you are going through a change like me, I’m sending you a big virtual hug. Something that I think comes from being in a place to support others and make a difference for people with anxiety and trauma is the fear that if I share this, then people will think I’m unable to do my work or my craft well.
Something I learned from RRT is that when I’m in a session, I am solely focused on who I’m with. I’m not at all thinking about myself, about how I feel, or what’s going on in my life. So it’s actually a nice break from navigating the change. I get to help others, and then I get to help myself, and then I help others, and it’s great.
If, by sharing this, you would rather not work with me, then I guess I’m not for you. I want to show you that nobody’s perfect, and I’m a human too, very much needing assistance and guidance in my life.
Have you felt anxiety after your child died?
The racing mind, unable to sleep, waiting for the next bad thing to happen, unable to breathe, panicky kind of anxiety, whole body riddled with anxiety?
Watch my free video on anxiety and grief below!
So that you can think clearly, feel calm in your body, and live your life without the chains of anxiety.
