236: Dan: A Grieving Daddy’s Perspective
In today’s episode, we got the chance to have a different perspective on grief and loss.
We talked with Daniel - from the United Kingdom, a father who experienced with her wife three miscarriages and lost their first-born daughter, Isla-Rose, before having their first-born son - Jaxson.
Dan shared that Isla-Rose was born prematurely at twenty-three weeks and six days. Isla-Rose only spent 18 days in the hospital before she passed away. Isla-Rose as Dan’s first-born child is the reason, he can call himself a father.
Dan’s journey is not a nice one. Not an easy one and it’s even hard to talk about at times. He’s been putting grief at the back of his mind. He became a shadow of himself and became angry with the world and everyone around him. Dan felt alone even with his wife and family around him. He felt like if he won’t reach out to them first, no one will reach out to him. He thinks he’s all alone and he must support himself. That was horrible and that was the darkest day he experienced.
It came to a point that Dan needed to talk to someone and admitted that he needed help. Grief was swallowing him whole, and it was destroying him. It was destroying relationships with his wife, with his parents, and with his friends.
Of having his first-born son, that now became the joy of their life. Bringing joy as they see him is the happiest thing in the world to them. To think that Dan could’ve missed that one on his child while dealing with his grief, he would never do anything to jeopardize that.
A lot of men put aside the feeling of grief because they don’t have anybody to talk to. They don’t feel comfortable. And there’s not enough support for men out there than women. Dan experienced it first-hand.
As a man, you are not expected to be emotional and be weak in moments. You are expected to be THE MAN, the strong type - the one who bears the problems.
Encouraged by his wife, Dan created an Instagram account where he can share his experiences. Put out all his thoughts with grief and loss. Being able to help the dads, partners, and boyfriends who reach out to him with the same experiences of grief all around the world.
As Dan shared that the best thing you can do is talk. Talk about how you are feeling. Open up. Be around people who make you happy and do things that make you happy.
Instagram: @grievingdaddy
Have you felt anxiety after your child died?
The racing mind, unable to sleep, waiting for the next bad thing to happen, unable to breathe, panicky kind of anxiety, whole body riddled with anxiety?
Watch my free video on anxiety and grief below!
So that you can think clearly, feel calm in your body, and live your life without the chains of anxiety.
