63 : The 3 Biggest Myths That Are Keeping You Stuck

In this episode, we are going to debunk 3 biggest myths that are keeping you stuck and preventing you from healing.

1.  TIME – Some people say that you need to wait for 10 years before you are completely done with your grieving. That after that time, you have totally moved on and that you are not hurting anymore with your child loss. That’s a TOTAL LIE.

Time does not matter at all. It’s what you do with the time that counts.

2. CONTROL - We don’t have the control that our child/baby died. We don’t have control over how other people treat us. We don’t have control over a lot of things.

BUT, we have control over how we deal with our experience, how we move forward, how we process, how we fight grief, or allow grief in.

3. CHILD LOSS OR BABY LOSS EQUALS SUFFERING- Pain and Grief is a natural and normal response to loss. Grief is not going away and we need to process through it. The suffering that we feel is from the thoughts that we are thinking of.

You can live with grief but you don’t have to suffer with grief. It’s learning to carry life with grief.

If you are a grieving mother and looking for others who know the pain of child loss, come join my free Grieving Moms Community Facebook group: www.meganhillukka.com/community

62: C.A.R.R.Y.ing Grief

In today’s episode, I’m going to share with you a quick guide I use in coaching grieving mothers.

Our emotions in grief are just like the ocean with waves that come and go. There are small waves and insanely big waves. Blocking our emotions is just like putting a dam that will explode at any time. I want you to allow it to flow freely in your body.

Points to remember:

• Curiosity – Get curious as to your grief journey and instead of judging it. When we let go of judgment, so many changes.

•  Awareness-  Becoming aware of the patterns you are living in your life and with your grief. It might be a pattern of guilt and sadness. You need to retrain your brain and change that pattern.

• Re-learning – We need to re-learn our emotions. Hiding and not dealing with it in a healthy way may lead you into becoming bitter, hurting yourself or others.

• Releasing - It might be very difficult to do but we need to let go of guilt.It will be lighter and easier in your own perfect time.

• You -  Loving yourself and caring for yourself is far from selfish, but a beautiful gift that builds and magnifies to those around you.

"Relief in Grief is open! Join my 3-day workshop where I will show you how to get through grief after the death of your child or baby. This is one of the most painful experiences you can walk through, and if you are anything like me, you feel lost, broken, and stuck. Come join a safe space where you can be real with your grief and learn tools to support your body and mind through your grief experience.

Save your spot at www.reliefingriefsupportgroup.com

If you are a grieving mother and looking for others who know the pain of child loss, come join my free Grieving Moms Community Facebook group: www.meganhillukka.com/community

61: Grief in Your Body Guided Meditation

Grieving affects our physical and psychological well-being. It puts a lot of stress and tension on both our mind and body.

In this episode, we are going to acknowledge, reconnect, and say thank you to our body for working hard during this challenging period.

Points to remember :

• Notice where grief is in our body

• Breathe in lightness, Breathe out the tension

• Say hello and thank you to our body

You can do this meditation whenever works for you. 

"Relief in Grief is open! Join my 3-day workshop where I will show you how to get through grief after the death of your child or baby. This is one of the most painful experiences you can walk through, and if you are anything like me, you feel lost, broken, and stuck. Come join a safe space where you can be real with your grief and learn tools to support your body and mind through your grief experience.

Save your spot at www.reliefingriefsupportgroup.com

If you are a grieving mother and looking for others who know the pain of child loss, come join my free Grieving Moms Community Facebook group: www.meganhillukka.com/community

60: Shifting Grief With Mary Anne

Losing her son to suicide was not something that was on Mary Anne's mind as she tried to support and help her son with his mental struggles.

In this episode, We are going to learn about Mary Anne’s layers of grief and how her process has changed as her grief journey has ebbed and flowed.

To cope with her grief, she sought help from a psychologist and took anti-depressants. She also diverted her attention to online stuff and traveling.  

However, when she got home which was when COVID started. She felt overwhelming sadness and crippling guilt. She even questioned her abilities as a mom.

Luckily, she saw Megan’s Facebook Group for  Grieving Moms.

Let’s listen to how this has greatly helped her in finding support and in moving learning to carry her grief.

If you are a grieving mother and looking for others who know the pain of child loss, come join my free Grieving Moms Community Facebook group: www.meganhillukka.com/community

59: The Importance of Resting in Grief

Grieving over someone’s death is greatly draining not only emotionally, but as well as physically.

In this episode, we are going to know the importance of how resting from grief helps you in healing.

You need to set a time for grieving and a time for mending.

Grieving is just like working out. You don’t workout round the clock. You need to rest to recuperate from the stress caused by exercise.  Just like grieving, you need to allow yourself to take a break. It will give you much strength to face if another big wave of emotion comes. 

Here are the points in this episode:

• You can set time aside.

• Set a timer every day.

• Tell your grief you are not ignoring it, but you will come back to it later.

• Think of it like a workout, you need to rest.

• Boxing up your thoughts and emotions.

If you are a grieving mother and looking for others who know the pain of child loss, come join my free Grieving Moms Community Facebook group: www.meganhillukka.com/community

58: Children’s Grief and Trauma with Samantha Colai,LMFT

Samantha is the therapist our children went to after the death of their little sister Aria. I have learned so much from Samantha and I wanted to have her on my podcast to share how we can support our children when we are grieving ourselves. 

She has so much wisdom, experience, and hope to share with every single one of you and your children.

Samantha's Website: Hope Rising Family Services

Recommended Book: The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel

If you want to schedule a 20-minute call with Megan go to www. calendly.com/cultivatedfamily/20

In this call- you can bring one struggle/thought/emotion on your grief journey, that you and Megan can work through together either with thought work or guided meditations.

If you are a grieving mother and looking for others who know the pain of child loss, come join my free Grieving Moms Community Facebook group: www.meganhillukka.com/community

Some links may contain affiliate links in which I receive a small commission if you decide to purchase something, this helps support the grief work I'm doing.

57: Needing to Know

Have you ever felt like you don’t know enough about exactly what happened with your child’s death? Maybe it feels like you cannot find any peace because there are too many unknowns for you? 

Today, I wanted to dive into how I needed to know everything, and how I began to process that when I was not able to know everything. This little shift in perspective was powerful for me. I hope it can be helpful for you!

If you want to schedule a 20-minute call with Megan go to wwww.calendly.com/cultivatedfamily/20

In this call- you can bring one struggle on your grief journey, that you and Megan can work through together either with thought work or guided meditations.

If you are a grieving mother and looking for others who know the pain of child loss, come join my free Grieving Moms Community Facebook group:www.meganhillukka.com/community

56: Fear

Fear is driving our world right now, fear seems to be something that stops us from taking action and doing the things we want in our life.

Fear definition from online: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.

When you lose a child, the fear, the terror, the horror, the awful horrific emotions, and pain are not something that is easily described. There is real and true fear there. Fear serves a purpose in our lives. It’s there to get us to move when we need to. When the fear is real because the fears you feared actually came true, how are you supposed to work through fear? How are you supposed to move forward?

This is a very deep question, one I can’t fully answer in this episode, and one I don’t have all the answers for. There is so much fear and terror and I’m so sad for that. I’m so sad for every single person who is driven by fear to stay in a place they don’t like to be.

I want to share some tools I’ve used to navigate fear I’ve felt in my life.

If you want to get on the waiting list for my next round of Life After Child Loss Coaching- go to www.lifeafterchildlosscoaching.com

If you are a grieving mother and looking for others who know the pain of child loss, come join my free Grieving Moms Community Facebook group:www.meganhillukka.com/community