222: Navigating Grief Through the Pandemic With Sally McKinley
Shifts and changes of grief. Listen as Sally shares her experience of navigating the loss of her son - Joey - during the pandemic time. Joey was diagnosed with Spastic Cerebral Palsy and lived with Sally for 38 years.
How Sally grieved more and felt the intensity of her emotions of grief lead her to the Grieving Moms Haven group and learned that there are different tools that can help her.
We also talked about Sally’s anxieties to the extent that she can’t sleep and even the anxiety of going to sleep. She went through an emotional eater stage that made her overeat to help her tone down her anxieties. She tried the group’s anxiety program along with the gratitude and breathing tools that helped her.
Sally highlighted that in order to heal is that you should be surrounded by safety and support. She found it in the Grieving Moms Haven. You can find out if it's a perfect fit for you or not. Sally didn't come to the group to get fixed but now she is moving on with joy and that takes time.
Have you felt anxiety after your child died?
The racing mind, unable to sleep, waiting for the next bad thing to happen, unable to breathe, panicky kind of anxiety, whole body riddled with anxiety?
Watch my free video on anxiety and grief below!
So that you can think clearly, feel calm in your body, and live your life without the chains of anxiety.
The more you allow yourself to sit in discomfort, the more you become okay with being uncomfortable. Actually, the more comfortable you become. The more you lean into uncomfortable feelings, sensations, and emotions, the more comfortable you become.
I think right now, I just have so much gratitude because when you're in a struggle, you have no idea why it's happening. And to be able to be like, Wow, I turned this into something that I'm so proud of because I see how it's helping other women. That just shows that, like, that is a plan that I would have never seen back then.
If you have kids, give them jobs and have them help! It helps when I have so many helpers now whom I can delegate the jobs to, and it helps get things done.
Dana highlights the importance of being patient with oneself, acknowledging the need to allow space for sadness or frustration. She welcomes questions about her daughter and encourages open dialogue, recognizing that understanding often comes through curiosity and conversation. Dana's openness and willingness to share her experiences reflect her commitment to fostering empathy and awareness.
I am on this medication (before). It helps manage it a little bit, but I'm still anxious. I'm still depressed. I'm still so glad the medication helps, but it's not the answer because it doesn't take away the issue.
Do it because you're angry or sad or don't feel like it. It is the hardest part of everyone's journey, whether that's regarding singing or eating vegetables. Whatever it might be, finding that inner drive and any motivation to do what you know is good for you. If you find that, that will give you all the power, because that’s when the ball starts rolling.
The first one is shifting your perspective, the second is rewiring your mind or the response to it, and the third is cultivating lasting relief. And in that first step, it's really one believing that change is possible.
Change is inevitable in our lives. It happens like the sun rises and sets. And yet, for some reason, we are shocked when there is change or things are different than we thought they could be.
It's like, go take a little break. Step back from it. Get fresh eyes and then come back again. Take a break in so many ways, not only for our kids. This is a beautiful gift to learn how to take breaks step back to refresh and then try again.
Things I've let go of and things I've shifted or changed. Hopefully, just one of them will be useful for you in your life, permitting you to just do your life. How you want to and what works for you and your family.